3 boys & a girl....: December 2009

I went to visit my Gramma today... it was my first time alone with her at the cemetery... I haven't done this since she passed because I was scared I wouldn't be able to stop crying... I guess I was right! I keep wondering when the hurt will stop and when this happens I read the eulogy I wrote... it seems to help a little...

The Eulogy

Thanks for coming! Gramma always said "the more the merrier". I just want to say that I am very honored that she was my gramma. So many things came to mind when I looked back on what she taught me over the years and I am truly blessed that my time and my grandmother's time overlapped for as long as they did, and that I could learn some of what she had to teach me.

To tell you the truth I had a hard time putting all my gramma’s good traits into writing. No matter how hard I tried, I can never do justice to what she had accomplished in her lifetime. I know we are all grieving today for we all lost a great lady. I not only lost my grandmother but she was also a second mother to me.

3 things come to mind when I remember my gramma... first and foremost she made sure we knew about the one great love of her life and that we could only be so lucky to have an incredible love like she and buddy shared. She would tell us stories about the first time she laid her eyes on grampa in the factory; to where they had their first date at the beach and how he couldn't believe a girl actually knew how to swim... I remember stories of their first kiss and how they eloped for their wedding and never told the family for 6 months. It was quite taboo for Pollack's to marry Italians back then. She loved her husband completely for her entire life and she made sure her granddaughters knew what a wonderful love story they shared and she hoped we found men just as wonderful as her buddy!

Also, I remember how she lived out her dreams and did everything she set out to accomplish. I mean she was 95 and she was not only able to see so much of the world but she went places most could only imagine. I think we are some of the only people who had a grandmother that actually went to the North Pole. She would always tell me she went to visit Santa Claus. I hope she knows how much I admired her for her joy of life and continually planning for the next great adventure.

Finally, she instilled the value of family and being with the family. Whether it was a holiday dinner, family celebrations or having a cookout just because it was a beautiful Saturday afternoon... Gramma loved nothing more than to have an excuse to have a party with the family and make a toast or blessing - she made sure the family spent time together. Gramma may be gone physically but her spirit will live on and on through her family...her legacy will always be that she kept the family together.

I was trying to recollect some memories of my gramma "isms" over the years - some things that made my gramma unique: Here are a few that bought a comfort to me over the past few days:

* How she would make us eat goose liver sandwiches after a long summer day of swimming - and to this day a goose liver sandwich is still my all time favorite

* Her desire to always apply the brightest pink lipstick ever made - and the knack to apply it without a mirror no less! When we would ask her how she could always apply her lipstick so well without a mirror - she always said "honey, if I don't know where my lips are by now... I'm in BIG trouble

* How she always made sure the candy drawer in the kitchen was stocked for us

* How she insisted on being home to watch the Lawrence Welk show on a Saturday night

* How she always made sure to tell everybody she knew the "final round" question on Jeopardy - especially when the contestants got it wrong

* The necessity to always point out any corvette on the road - and giving it a point value based on the color - I believe a yellow corvette was always 50 points

* Her passion for fashion with her unique style in bold blouses

* Her love for the "perfect" upside down Manhattan and when out to dinner she always sent back her 1st Manhattan because it was never quite right

* Always being corrected on the pronunciation of Italian words - it is ma ree nha rha - not marinara!

* How she would always kiss the ravioli can at the grocery store - I'm not quite sure how strangers around her reacted

* How she refused to buy a new purse no matter how many times she had to have the old one repaired

* Whenever you questioned whether or not to see a new movie that was released - my grandma could ALWAYS give a review - she insisted on watching all the new releases.

* How much she loved to take her family down to Gallucci's - it didn't matter what day of the week or how many times in a week - she loved going down to that market - and of course flirting with all the boys behind the counter!

* The way she always had a plastic rain bonnet available at the first sight of rain - I think she had at least 3 on hand at all times

* The necessity to flirt with every cute waiter she laid her eyes on... well every cute boy - it didn't really matter if he waited tables or not

* How any new dings in her car were somehow always the other drivers fault

* How she could drive through a blizzard to go down to the bus station to pick up a dear friends daughter that came in from England... but she somehow came home with the girl from England and 2 more girls from India - she ended up befriending the one from India to this very day

* How she would make sure to not only be on time for any family party - but she made sure to arrive at least 1 hour early

* How she strategically minced up vegetables I refused to eat and hid them in my dinner unbenonsed to me... I think she finally came clean about 2 years ago.

* How she ALWAYS signed everything with the number 88 - she always said it meant "hugs & kisses"

I always thought when you looked up the word "grandma" in the dictionary it would have my grammas face next to it - she was truly the quintessential grandma and I only hope to have that affect on my grandchildren someday! I believe she lived to make such wonderful memories for us!

She was there for ALL of my great memories and if she wasn't with me physically she was the first person I called to tell.

I have been trying to tell myself that it's o.k. that gramma left us. What a perfect life she had. It shouldn't be sad, but it's hard to imagine life without her, the most dependable, perfect person I have ever known.

She gave me the strength to be the person I am today; she always told me how proud she was of me & I hope she knows how proud I was of her.

I have one more thing... thank you gramma , thank you for everything you ever did for me… you are my hero - and I'll never forget what you have done for me.

I know you are now with your sweetheart with God in heaven. Goodbye Grams, I loved you! Send my love to Grampa & may heaven be filled with upside down manhattans.

Love

Angela (your favorite)

Wow - it has been too long since I have posted anything... since the last time I posted we celebrated a wonderful Thanksgiving and I must admit that I/my family has A LOT to be thankful for. I have the most amazing husband in the world (he has to be since he puts up with me), I have 2 amazing boys that keep me on my toes and are a true joy to be with.. they help me see things through the eyes of a child and I can't thank them enough for that!

I will "ketchup" more over the weekend since we also have had Christmas parties, Santa visits, North Pole travels and Kris Kringels house to update about...

I look forward to spending the holidays with my boys and experiencing everything through their eyes this week...

Jeff and I also decided that we need to "give back" and make sure our boys "give back" as well... so this year Cy will be helping out at St. Augustine's Christmas morning... he is going to help mommy and grandma box up meals and deliver with daddy and grampa Bob. He may not "get it" this year but hopefull this will make an impact on his views in the future...